I’m a 40-year-old woman who will likely die within the next decade – from either the eating disorder or suicide – because I am tired of fighting the battle in my head on top of the way society views me. I’m tired of lacking a job or purpose, tired of living with the constant pain that no man’s ever wanted me and that I’ll never have children, tired of missing a twin sister who has justifiably distanced herself, and tired of having no power to influence the conversation surrounding how we view and treat the “mentally ill” in Western industrialized society today.
I’m a woman for whom depression and hopelessness are becoming to feel more like a permanent state, rather than something which used to come and go. A woman who’s about an inch away from losing the last remnant of energy – but more importantly the desire – I used to have to keep fighting for a Voice and purpose in a world where nobody will listen, and nobody with hiring power thinks I have anything to offer.
I’m a woman who’s tired of shouting into a void, tired of being so tired, and who just wants to go to sleep. Forever.
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